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Live, Laugh, Love, Lily

“So, girls?”, Lilys dad told them when they were almost there. “We have an exciting year ahead of us! Petunia, I’m sure you’ll have a fantastic time in Scotland even if we´ll miss you a lot and Lils, year 13, that’s a big one!”, she heard Petunia huff, a small laugh Lily had heard hundreds of times before. It somehow felt worse than if she´d said out loud that Lily was a real loser and wouldn’t know an exciting year if it was right under her nose. Which had been said before, for the record. “Well, cheers dad”, Lily forced a smile, opened the door, and walked up to the doors of the airport, letting the rest of them handle Petunias bags themselves.

Saying goodbye to Petunia had seemed easier before. Now when Lily stood there at the airport, with Petunia all packed and ready for her flight, everything felt a lot more real. Petunia going to Scotland for college, hours away, leaving her there. Her feelings jumbled together, at first, she had felt happy and excited for the prospect of being an only child temporarily and not having to always coexist in the same house with her sister. But as her departure had come closer in time, Lily had started to think more about how her life would be without Petunia there. She had, after all, never known anything else. It was a lot more frightening than her first thoughts, so she had tried her best to ignore it. Simply blocking out the bad aspects of her sister moving out. They had not had the best relationship in a while, Lily and Petunia, but to Lily, she was still just as important now at seven- and nineteen, as when they had been seven and nine playing football in their backyard. She was not sure if Petunia felt the same about her, but she figured (or at least hoped) that she would miss her even a little bit. The sisters had after all been very close in the past and they didn’t have any other siblings. After Lily befriended Severus, their relationship had grown more and more strained and even after they had stopped hanging out, the resentment from Petunias side remained. Petunia had hated Severus, she acted as if she was superior to him just because he had a hard time at home and weren’t very good in school. Her mum had told her that she was just jealous that someone else being close to Lily, but she had doubted that at the time. Their parents had taken on the role of meddler between the sisters, and they had lied before to keep the peace. But on later years Lily had started thinking that maybe her mum was in the right for once. Their parents were fussing over Petunia, making sure she was coming home for Christmas and that she had everything she needed packed. Petunia herself didn’t look very bothered but at the same time didn’t say much, maybe eager to get away and used Salvia and Fabian Evans´ neurotic worrying. After all the goodbyes and an awkward hug between sisters she told her “I´m sure something will happen in your life this term”, Lily could just nod and walk away, she reminded herself that it can’t be good to separate on bad terms. Even if that comment hit harder that she admitted, she had always been looked down upon by Petunia for having a “boring” life or a “boring” personality and even if she didn’t say it out loud, she had started to believe it herself. But she had always laughed it off and moved on, so there was no point in fighting back now. Her mum put an arm around her and begun walking back, out of the airport, back to their car. Her dad followed. When they were just about to open the doors, Lily turned around, out of her mums hold, to get one last look back. And for a split second she was met with pale blue eyes staring back, shaped so much like her own. But then Petunia turned away, leaving Lily with just the dirty blonde hair on the back of her head to look at. Lily left the building.

The whole, Petunia moving to Scotland and being left alone with her parents for a year had brought up a lot of complicated feelings. But Lily had a solution to that, she wrote letters, a lot of them. Most of them got tossed in the bin or burned or something like that but every once in a while, she would write one she couldn’t bring herself to destroy, something that meant to much or brough up to many feelings. Those, she would put in an envelope, put an address on and store in a shoebox in the right corner of her closet. So, when she had written a letter to Petunia, explaining her feeling in detail, which helped surprisingly much, she went to find the box. She found it in its usual place, in the dark, claustrophobic closet. She brought it to her desk, opened it and to her surprise found it almost empty, the last time she put away the box it had contained three addressed letters and now there was none. Just a small sticky note the form of a heart. She could feel her heart starting to race when she understood what had happened. On the note, it was written, in vowels, “It´s time something happens in your life. -Tuney”. Petunias handwriting. Petunias glitter pen. Petunias sticky note. Petunia. Tuney. She hadn’t called her that in a long time, not since Severus had told her at 11 that it was weird to have nicknames for family and to just call her by her full name and Petunia had agreed. That was one of the only things those two had ever agreed on. And when the two most important people in your life tells you that something you do is “weird”, you stop doing it. Her mind finally caught up to what she was feeling. Fuck. FUCK. Petunia had posted the letters. The letters. She must´ve done it, she wouldn’t write it like that if she hadn’t already. She wouldn’t had said the things she said at the airport if she hadn’t. The letters were three, one to Benjy Fenwick, her first crush, or no not her first, but the first that she felt like she actually would want to date, not just admire from afar. She had written the letter to get him out of her system, to let it go, forget about it. She tried to remember if she had put anything weird in it, but it was now almost five years ago so she honestly couldn’t remember. She would survive if he got the letter. Right? She could just avoid him, they didn’t have any classes together, the only space they shared was the free space with the lockers and the corridors in school. They second letter was to Alice Fortescue. It was just when Lily had started figuring out her sexuality, Alice was several years older and pretty much unattainable, not to mention that she and Frank had been going strong for like four years now and everyone was pretty sure that they would get married, like straight out of college. Alice would be flattered but it wouldn’t be a big deal, many people had a crush on her, and she didn’t even still go to their school anymore. The third and final letter was addressed to James Potter. The absolute dick of a person. If she needed to be rational, she could admit that he most likely weren’t as bad as she felt. After all he was one of Marlene’s closest friends. But she had written the letter just after she had dumped Severus as a friend and befriended Marls. Because she was so close with James, she refused to be friends with Lily when she was still close to Severus, due to something between him and James. When Lily wrote the letter, she had been very confused, everything Marlene told her about James and Sirius contradicted the things she had been hearing from Severus for years. And also, his whole asking her out story. She hadn’t known who to believe, what to say and how to act. And all those feelings had ended up in the purple envelope addressed Godric´s hollow currently somewhere in the English post system. She didn’t know what she would do if James told everyone, or even if he just told his close friends. Noone knew about the letters, with the exception of Severus and petunia. Not even Mary, who had been around at the time of the first letter but not been told. And neither Remus nor Marlene. She would just have to explain to Mary and Marlene and do her best to avoid him as long as possible, And hopefully the letter would get lost in the mail.

Petunia and Mark were sitting together, her hand on his shoulder and his arm around her back. They looked perfect together. Like two pieces of a puzzle. Lily was with a feeling of discomfort, like she had intruded on something she shouldn´t have. They were watching Petunias favorite romcom (p.s. i love you) in silence, Mark, Petunia and Lily. Lily was only there because their mum thought it would be a great way for her to apologize to her sister after their fight. Lily doesn´t even remember what it was about. "Hey, babe?", Mark breaks the silence. "I was thinking" "What?" says Petunia, rather snarky if you´d ask Lily. "Do you think I could come visit you in Scotland this fall? or spring?", silence. "I mean it´s not far" "I suppose you could", Petunia seemed off. Distant in some way. Lily was used to her being mean, but not to Mark, never to Mark. She understood why, though, if she had a boyfriend like him she´d never be mean to him. "Do you think we could plan it, I´d rather not plan things over phone”, he sounded unsure, he had totally picked up on Petunias weird tone. "No, not now, I´m trying to pay attention to the movie", she didn’t even look his way Mark turned confused to lily, tilting his head as if he trying to ask if she knows why shes acting that way. Lily just shakes her head. She stands up and walks up the stairs and into her room.

The next morning after Petunia´s still acting weird. Not at the same level but enough for lily to take notice. She comes into the kitchen and pours herself a bowl cereal and sits down across from Lily at the kitchen table. She does not initiative any talk so Lily turn back to her breakfast.

"I broke up with Mark", Yea thats one was of saying hello. Lily stares, a thousand questions suddenly pops up in her head but before she manages to get one out Petunia continues. "Last night, outside. It was ought to happen"

"What? Why?", now Lily´s confused.

"Yeah, with us going to college and everything, long distance never works.", Petunia is not showing much emotion. Lily gets the impression that she´s just following orders. That shes just doing it to not get hurt in the end. That's Petunia, always doing everything to not show emotion.

"I don't think so, i think you could do it", Petunia eyes drops to the table. She doesn't answer so Lily continues. "I just mean, he obviously wants to put in the effort, you can't just let him go. He's a good guy Tuney, really.", she realizes when she says the word that she hasn't used that nickname in years.

"And how would you know? You don't know anything about our relationship"

"I know enough"

"No"

"What?"

"Stop this Lily, this is my life, just stop"

"But-"

"STOP PUSHING IT LILY", Petunia storms of and slams the door. It´s clear that Lily struck a nerve.

BACKSTORY Families -lily(06) grew up with petunia and her parents -james(06) lives w effie and monty -marlenes(06) parents are divorced and she has 3 older brothers -mary(05) lives with her 3 younger siblings and her parents -sirius(05) lives with reg and the parents -rem(06) lives in a cottage a bit from the others with hope and Lyall (LOVING PARENTS) -pete(06) lives with his parents and lizzy has moved from home and now lives in France

The letters Benjy- To Benjy, Hi! (is that how you start a love letter? Idk) but it doesn’t matter because im not letting you read it. so its fine. Okayy, I like you. Love, like I don’t know but I knowi have a crush on you. Ill never admit it to your face and I don’t know if I ever want you to know. It feels scary to actually say it to your face. I love your eyes, your hair (esp. that one year when you got braids 4th/5th grade.) and I love the way you walk. Its just attractive idk. And I know im not alone in liking you (I can name like 5 other girls who likes you and im pretty sure remus had a crush on you last year). Anyways this letter if for letting my feelings go so after this you can take away me from the list of people that crushes on you. After this I wont care that ohers have liked you or that you sit next to me in biology. I wont lend you my best pens anymore, bye Benjy <3 Alice- Remus- Hi rem, I dont think youll read this but I need to get my feelings out. I like you. James- (The letter is all about how james is such a dick for pretending to like her and how it isn’t fair and if he didn’t do that she would kinda like him bc for some reason he sounds sm kinder in marlenes storys about what he did when peter was sad or maerlnee came out to him. In the letter shes starting to come over her crush and says that she cant imagine how she could like him) Mary-

Ships Jily- developing, this is a jily fic Wolfstar- still new but established Emmary- est. Dorlene- est. Pebil- breakes up like days before this story, peter getting over his breakup

Childhood -now going last year (year 13) at 17. -James, Sirius, lily, remus, Benjy, mary and peter went to the same middle school. -Dorcas and Emmie went somewhere else but Emmie knew mary since before. -Marlene also went to Emmie and Dorcas school but they weren’t friends

TIMELINE-now-2023 2019- -Benjy crush -Sirius came out to james 2020- -Alice crush -Remus crush 2022- -James “crush” -Mary crush 2023- -August 25th- lily, petunia, and mark (petunias boyfriend) is watching a movie (lord of the rings). Its really their date night but lily’s mum told her go down and you cant change her mind. Mark wants to meet up in Scotland when he goes visiting his grandma bc petunia is going there for college. Petunia isn’t as euntusiastic. 26th- the sisters sit in awkward silence the morning after at breakfast. Petunia blurts out she broke up with guy. Tries t make conversation and says she read that you shouldn’t have long distance relationships. Lily says she doesn’t think so and then the conversation fades. Before dinner it becomes clear that petunia doesn’t want the parents to know about the breakup when she lies and says he wont come to dinner bc he had to pick up a late shift. 27th- James wakes up in the middle of the night by someone knocking on his window, Sirius he has bruises and is pretty badly hurt. Runs to get monty and effie directly. The help him trought the immediate and then Sirius asks for privacy w james. Tells him they kicked him out bch es gay (james knew this is not coming out) and cries bc regs left there. James thinks about all his memories with Sirius and reg. Effie comes and helps and they finally get some sleep (about 3 or 4 am) Wake up at about 12 and discuss it further, Sirius tells the story more detailed to the whole family and effie wants to confront and arrest walburga. Sirius tells her it wont happen and its okay as long as he can be here. They also decide they wont adopt him legally bc hes 18 in some months but he isn’t less of a part of the family. At noon petunia are supposed to begin packing for college. Asks lily if shes ever been inlove. Lily says idk and the move on wih their lives. They get in the car to their maternal grandparents. In the car lily is texting the girls. (flashback to the granny meeting) Petunia says shell miss her room most of all and lil says shell have it ehn she comes home for dads birthday, she says she wont, Christmas? Nope. Lily reflects over life without petunia. Then phone call w mary 28th- James talks to his parents (Sirius is with peter he insisted that he felt better) and his parents remind him of how much they love him yada yada. He meet up with remus and they begin walking to petes house. Suddenly a red flash of hair and his elbow is really hurting. Lily is on her way to emma when she crashes into something or someone. Its james and remus. Remus and she are good friends and they start talking but she feels weird with james bc he used to fake ask her out. She calls emma to come help her with the bike (its fucking crashed) and says good bye to the guys still feeling humiliated. James and remus walk in silence and james shows their whole backstory to the reader (he asked lily out once in year 9 one in year 10 and twice in year 11. Always tried hard infront of her and gave her flowers more then once. But she always was mean. James also hated snape and lily used that against him and held a grudge against him bc snape told her what james did to him (he did things back and just didn’t tell her) but summer before sixth form he sent her a letter when he promised to behave and not go near her, apologized for everything and since then they havmt really talked) 30th- that night james got a letter from lily’ -September 2nd- first day in school has gone okay. Now second everythings back to normal. Lily has avoided james but they have bio together and james confronts her after and asks why she thought him asking her out was a joke. She connects the dots and runs away to the bathroom and locks herself in one of the stalls. Understands that the others must have also got their letters. Fuck mary. She tells the school she threw upå and went home. When shes home she checks for the letters. Theyre gone. She writes to remus whos already heard the story from james and they have a movie night. 3rd- Benjy texts her the next day and she ignores him. After school he comes up too her and confronts her. Benjys a year older and shes always been weird w him so she blurts out. “I have a boyfriend actually, that was long ago” and runs to kiss remus whos walking w james. He will play the part for her. Exept it isn’t remus, its davey gudgeon. And she cant kiss davey so she turns and kisses james. Lily evans kisses james potter. Says “bye babe” and wispers “do this for me please” and walks away. James was just kissed by lily evans. He was just walking and then she kissed him, hes so confused but plays w it bc he has nothing else to do. Shes already gone. Then he gets a notification from from a unknown nr, its lily. She apologizes and he tries to call her to get her to explain but she says they can meet up after school. so they do Sit in awkward silaence. Then james asks if it has anything to dow the letter. Lily explaines that it does, she wrote more then one letter an done to Benjy and that she kissed him just to show that she really isn’t that desperate and has a boyfriend. Jame sask if it is more letters and lily hesitates and james gets pout of her it is 5 but she wont tell him who (bc shes not out).

Scene 1: lily and petunia watching movie with some guy petunia is dating, lilys only there bc her mum told her to “socalice with her sister” kinda akward. The guy wants to meet petunia in some country bc shes leaving for college. 2.petunia and lily alone later after dinner, akward silece (they have fought) petunia says that she broke up with guy. Shed read that you shouldn’t have long distance relationships. Lily doesn’t really care but still says they should get back tgtrh for petunias sake, she likes guy. 3 petunia wont tell her parent she broke up with guy. Lily doesn’t push it. should dad make dinner for guy? No says petunia. He has to take a late shift.
James: james is woke up in the middle of the night, Sirius hes run from home and came straight to james´ tells then its bch es gay and isk. Cries a lot bc of reg and that he didn’t wanna go, you get to se a bit of james memories of reg and Sirius. Effie tries to heal him but the bruises last. 6 petunia doesn’t want hep to pack for college. “have you been inlove lily?” petunia and lily agrees to stay at a place where it doesn’t bother their parents but things are still strained, guy wants petunia back petunia doesn’t want guy back. Lily wants them to get back tgthr. Guy is Benjy and lily liked him before. Not much but enough. They go to the airport. James: Sirius is making him at home, just fluff and comfort. 4 theyre in the car, lilys texting with the girls and petunias talking to their mom about food shell miss and lily puts in and says she can have it when she comes home for dads birthday (November) but shes not coming home until hannukkah and cristmas. Lily reflects over a life without petunia. 5 (chris-marlene) (margot-petunia) Margot and Chris argue about Chris not using a coaster for her drink, and then Margot flounces upstairs. Lara Jean reveals that they broke up. Chris insists Margot can’t possibly be sad—Margot doesn’t have “normal human emotions.” Then, she suggests that Margot’s absence will be good for Lara Jean. Lara Jean should kiss some boys James atlks to peter, marls and remus about the Sirius thing and finally gets to vent a little to rem. His parents are proud of him. 7 lily borrows petunias bike and drives to meet emma. Crashes into smth and fuckes up the bike but shes okay. She asks mary to come pick her up but james walks by with peter and Sirius and she feel humiliated. Remembers how he used to “joke” and pretend he liked her some year ago. Mary comes and picks her up and lily cries a bit and then they go somewhere together. She calls emma too. James saw lily today, on his way to remus you get to see like their whole backstory. 8 the family calls petunia but petunia and lily doesn’t talk. Later lily (trough marlene) learns that james broke up with a gf, gf was cheating. Lily kinda thinks he deserves it. 9school has begun and after bio james potter comes up to her, he asks why she thought he asked her out as a joke, that it never was a joke. Shes cofused, he says it all stood in theletter. Fuck, no he got it, HOW TF DID HE GET IT. lily runs and locks herself in a batroom stall, deletes the mail and reads it to herself. The letter is all about how james is such a dick for pretending to like her and how it isn’t fair and if he didn’t do that she would kinda like him bc for some reason he sounds sm kinder in marlenes storys about what he did when peter was sad or maerlnee came out to him. In the letter shes starting to come over her crush and says that she cant imagine how she could like him. She reilizees the other emails. She says she threw up and goes home. Her phone dies so she cant delete the emails before much later and all are read then. She decides not to burden her mom or marlene or emma or petunia or anyone with this. Tho she calls remus and he comes over and they have phonefree movie night 10. Benjy comes and knocks on the door asking for her and she hides till hes gone. Benjy confronts her in school. says “no no im dating someone it was amistake” runs to kiss remus exept it isn’t remus and just a random guy so she just grabs james and kisses him. “bye babe” “please do this for me” and runs away. Panics. James side of the whole thing. 111. later she taxt with james about the kiss and apologizes and makes sure that he know that it isn’t bc she likes him, just to get away from a guy. James trough remus knows that it isn’t just one mail/letter and he asks how many. And why their sent our. Lily says its 5 of them but wont say the last 2 that isn’t Benjy, rmus and james (coming out yk). Says she likes Benjy and kissed james to make him jealous (james s´doesn’t really believe that). James thinks she fucked up but its funny and he asks whats gonna happen now lily says be my fake bf around Benjy (ofc to make him jealou). After that lily wonders who ackually send the letters/emsils and comes to the conclusion it must be petunia. Doesn’t confront her tho. 12. avoiding the ms in school a whole day, mary texts her “we need to talk, please” lilys been avoiding her half a week and in the process avoided marls too, simply being alone. Lily firstly ignores her, almost panics bc this is sm. And that agrees. They agree to not meet some place after school. 13. they meet at lily and lily gets to explain the whole thing (mary knows she likes girls but its not official) and they realize they both liked eachother at the same time long ago (roughly around 14) and thahy decide thayre both love eachother platonic and that don’t wanna lose that, brings us closer says mary. And lilys so glad bc shed been worrying about this. Then lily gets to talk to her about all the other letters and mary kinda comes out as unlabeled ace. They laugh at remuss letter together and then eat dinner with lilys parents. After that lily has a phone call with marlene. Almost late (marls mum lets her use her phone late not her dad and its mum week) and lily apologizes about the whole mary thing and marlnee comes back with the questiinn if lilys really dating james potter. Lily tries to say no it’s a joke but marlene had herad from james that its Sirius and that hes glad theyre dating, the convo dies out and lilys mom wants to play games with her so they end the call. day 14 she asks james why he told arlene that and he insists it was afavor, jaems ask if they can keep up the dating charade a bit longer (his ex is kinda creepy). They do it and said ex gets angry. Lilys not sure she can do this dating thing. Lily text james a rule list and asks him to add thisgs. They go official (the ms, and the marauders know). And lily has kinda a akward talk with he rparents while shes crosheing w ts in hörlursr. James calls and asks if she wants a ride to school, good fro the reputation. 15 next day she gets dropped off by jaems and Sirius in jamess car learns that their kinda brothers and Sirius lives at the potters. After school she hears some girls making fatphobic comments about her and dating jaems. Emma franticly calls demanding to know how she dated james and where it came from. Lily realixes how random that paring actually is. 16. she goes to marys football game with james and they kinda talk about the “fake” asking out thing and othe stuff. Lily also tells hima bout the last 2 who got letters, (mary and alice) and james thinks it funny how sheve chrushed on 2 of her bsf. Lily also makes sure he isn’t homophobic and james confides and says that Sirius is clearly gay and fcking whipped for remus and hes pan, dw. 17. the family talks to petunia again and when her dad was about to tell her about peter lily snaps and walks out of the room. No one tells petunia about james. Petunias got a new bf, Vernon. Lily thinks he sounds like a snob and her parents clearly thinks the same. 18. on tgheir way to school Sirius got dora with him and she and lily really likes eachother. She gets to taste lilys juice and loves it. lily feels that this is some sort of family. Lily teaches her the fun new word, arrogant when she tells dora about her relationship with prongsfoot. Alice also gives her letter back to lily with the “I have a bf, sorry” and lilys “me too” walk tgthr to thr lockers and talk a bit about peter till marlnee comes and tells her they need to find mary. (mary has found Emmeline) 19. lily talks with the ms about sex, if Benjy and petunia had it or petunia and Vernon. Petunia from a young an´ge thought sex was taboo and lilys parentas didn’t really csre so lily has no real experience. 20. next day she goes with marlneen to the potters, lily, marlene, james, peter. ( remus and Sirius are somewhere (team wolfstar)) (marys with Emmeline again). Lily feels really included and hits it off w pete (marlenen and james are fckin hyper). She also talks to effie and monty and wishes she had sucha loving family (hers is not bad but its always been problems with tuney , since snape). Ex gf comes by and wants to talk to james, since shes now jealous andjams wont tell her what it was about. Later james takes her home and she asks how he knew he loved her, he says hes only 17 he never knew. Lily makes a ts reference in her head 21. dora comes with thm to school again, she says she likes lily. James eats dinner with lilys family, its good but lily feels a little ashames of that her parents isn’t the same as effie and monty. 22. its Halloween, lily dresses as nina zenik and james is a stag (its tradition -sirius). Mary s is late tho, snape comes by and wants to drive her there and she has to decline several times before mary comes and gets her. Lily kisses james on the cheek. That kiss she thinks about quite a lot later on.
23. video call with petunia again and she fatshames lily for eating pizza and tells her to eat some vegetables. Some way lilys mom mentions james and petunia has a lot to say abou him, he isn’t good for lily, hes a dougebag, dickhead ectectt. Only stops when dad asks her about Vernon. Snape reaches out again, lily in the heat of the moment blocks him. 24. in school marlene and her gf is with lily and mary, Dorcas mentions the ski trip that lils not signed up for (rooted deep in her that fat girls cant sport) the girls convinces her to come tho, mary says that emmeline´ll be there. Marlene remines her the boys will be there too. 25. jilys hanging out and just talking about the ski trip when snape comes up to asks if lilys going, she tells james she doesn’t wanna talkt o him and james tells her to forgive her for this and kisses her to make snape go away. “were making this a habit, kissing to get out of convos”. Snape isn’t scared off tho, later he comes to lily and asks why she blocked him. She tells him hes a dickhead aand snape says that exactly what she used to call jaems, lily suddenly defensive of james shouts back that snape is a hypocrite and fckn harasses her, snape thinks they should calm down so they don’t get suspended, lily doesn’t think that. Snape says smth to her about how shes a slut and should listen and she just pnches him. And walks away. Snape doesn’t tell on her tho, he doesn’t wanna get suspended either. 26. lilys parents sign the permission slip and is exited bc she hasn’t skieed since idk years. Some older student tells mary amd her about how this trip infact just is fro ppl to have sex. Skinny dip ect. 27. the family celebrate thanksgiving with turkey (idc if we dontbelive it it always fun to celelbrate -lilys dad) and later that night snape comes over to give her the very very wanted advice abou how james is a bitcha and lily seems to have forgotten what he did to her and snape himself. Lily shuts the door in his face. 28 some week after last thing they decorate the house with Christmas light and put the menorah, lilys half jew half Christian bc her parents but no one really believes big things they just celebrate all holidays bc. Petunia is soon arriving, lily dreads it. 29. snape wants to talk to lily again that day, she agrees jjst to get rid of him and snape goes on a rant about james til lily straight up asks himwhy he cares. Snape ssays that he misses her lily says he should’ve thought about thant before he made homophobic comment about her friends and called her a slag and fatphobic slurs. He says he loves her, moves closer, “ im sorry sev, I dionT, I have a boyfriend” “do you love him then?” … fuuck “you do, you FUCKING BITCH HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME TO YOURSEF” “first you like me then josh then him, youre a fcking whore lily!” 30. that’s a lot to process. Lily feels she need to break up with james. If she likes him, hell even loves him then they cant be together, she feels like she have to froget it, it can never be. She tells james thay need to break up (fake) says she wants it back to normal. Petunia is coming hokme and all. It hurts bc she really enjoyed these weeks, james, Sirius, dora, peter. Thay agree to still bekinda friends. 30.2 lily has a talk with marlene and and mary on facetime. Tells about snape, feelings for james ectect. 31. they go pick petunia up from the airport, her new bf is coming home with her. She looks older aand seems to have decided that shes not gonna acknowledge lily more then she needs too. She feels like she doesn’t know her sister. Mom as a way to star conversatin asks what lilys going to get james for Christmas. Petunia starts saying she cznt believe lily could date that prick and versnon has a lot of unwanted opinions on the subjects. Hannukkah is over. 32. the skitrip. Mom drops her off early, lily sees james with Sirius and the others and goes over. She soon realizes that its uneven pairs. Remus and Sirius (Sirius and james makes tm chaos) marlene and dorcas, sickenly cute. Peter and james, she and mary. If only mary would come here. Slughorn and mcgonnaagal seach their bags for alcohol. 33. when their there lily stay in the lodge. Tho later she goes out skiing with marlene (marys off w Emmeline and peter somewhere) when they get back they see Sirius, Dorcas, Emmeline, mary and peter off for the hot tub. Marls follows them (Dorcas). They stand awkwardly until james blurts out “you coukdve sat next to me on the bus” “thought you wanted to sit w pete” “I did, I mean, pete slept trought the whole thing- point is Id rather sit with you. “we can sit together ion tthw way back if you want to. Yea. The convo kinda dies out and james starts to get ready for the hot tub. He cahngs and when he gets out lily just stands there. 34. lily goes after to the hot tub, just mary, pete and james left. Sits down and after some minutes mary and pete decide to go. Mary winks at her for some reason. They sit in silence. “okay sooo, I wanted to tell you something” “yea.” “I like you lils, like like like. I dont ever stopped, you don’t need to be with me …. Love confession. Lily doesn’t know how to react. She likes james, but what if she fuckes up, what if what if what if. “can I think about it?”. lily goes to her room, james cries. Lily panics 35. lily knocks on james´door early in the morning, james has been up since 6, they go on a walk. Lily explains her thoughts and they kiss. They sit together during the busride home, sleeps ect. 36. last chapter. Loving james, loving lily. Christmas at the potters. (lily, peter, mary, marlnene, Emmeline, jame, Sirius, Dorcas, remus, effie, monty, emmies mums and sisters, dorcas´dad, marlenes brothers and mom, marys siblings and parents, lilys parents (petunia was w Vernon) peters parents and sister) their own family.

#Fanfiction